Mr Fixit

It's a new year but some things don't change. If you have a house, you have to fix it continually and in my particular case, if your sisters in law have a house, you get to fix it - continually. And so it was that I found myself at Kim & Laurels putting up shelves in the girls room, setting up climbing rings in a tree and adjusting a dangling cricket ball so that it is a better height to have a good swing at with the bat. While I was there someone was talking about putting some steps up the pin oak and into the branches which sounded pretty cool to me so I got some spare wood from home, shaped the top edge to give a good grip and a bunch of 6" nails and nailed the steps onto the tree. I definately work too much with a keyboard because after driving in 6 nails my forearm was aching, this is not good. I shudder to think what it is like to use a hammer all day. We now have a set of steps up to the first set of branches about 4m off the ground. Had a lesson showing Samuel and Hannah how to climb safely and making sure that they understood that falling out of the tree was going to be a hospital affair not just a couple of bruises. I think they got the point. Made Samuel go up so that I could check that he had actually listened to what I had to say about climbing and he more or less got up to where the branches started before he bailed out, clearly unhappy about the height. Next it was Hannahs turn who went straight past and right up to the branches. I think they are going to really enjoy this, I will wait for the request for a tree house before I start thinking about how to build it. A couple of days afterwards Hannah and a friend climbed right up into the branches and were talking to passers by and having a great time. Sage, who can only just reach the first step was obviously feeling left out told Kim that I must come over with my car and build her a ladder too. I offered to build a 6m Sage ladder but it was politely declined. Sorry for you, Sage.

Went over to my folks for supper on Saturday night and only left just before 23:00 which must be something of a record. Quite an enjoyable evening, my mother has actually been reading this blog and true to form continues to complain about my habit of missing out on commas and full stops so here they are :
.,..,,....,..,,....,..,,... .,..,,....,..,,... .,..,,... .,..,,...
that ought to suffice for a couple of months of writing. She continues to be amazed that I can actually write, actually, so am I.

Sunday morning Caron and I put our moutain bikes on the back of the car and headed out to Northern Farm where we had a fabulous ride. Caron on her own and myself on my own. I had my GPS with me so I was going up and down every road that I could. I normally just go around the perimeter but there are so many roads that I only managed to map about 1/3 of the area in the 2 hours I was there. Had an absolute ball whizzing down some of the roads, there are these large bumps to direct water away from the road and at speed you take off over these. Gotta be a little careful about landing in the same path as one took off from otherwise there would be a pretty spectacular moment. Found some really nice shady routes through some pine forests as well as a whole bunch of dams which I didn't know about. It sounds like my sister and brother in law are readying themselves to buy mountain bikes for the family so I am going to have to bring them out here.

Lapalala

It has taken precisely two days of work to completely obliterate any R&R I might have had at Lapalala and there wasn't that much there in the first place.
Lapalala is a wilderness area about 2 hours north west of Johannesburg in what is normally a very dry and hot area. The last time we went there was about 7 years ago when it was described as a wilderness area and not a game reserve and true to the name at that time, we didn't see a single head of game. Not one of the blighters stuck their heads out of the dense bush for us to have a peek at. Things have certainly changed, they've cut down or rather "thinned" sections of the bush so that people like us can actually see the game. This is decidely tourist friendly but is not so flora friendly. Caron and I were expecting the temperatures to be 35 deg. C or above and we knew that there isn't any airconditioning so we were very pleasantly surprised when it rained just about every day and was overcast to boot.
We drove up with Caron's two sisters, Laurel and Kim and their offspring Samuel (11), Hannah (9) and Sage (2) a.k.a. "The Savage" pictured below.

Sage, of course, provided the entertainment as well as the torture for the trip, she was particularly worried that the worms under the ground were going to get her if she went barefoot.

Thursday: arrived safely and followed the signs up ever narrowing roads, the thinner the road the thicker the sand got. The accomodation was comfortable but rustic, it must have been a proper lodge at one stage and we pretty much had it to ourselves. There was one couple already there but they were very quiet, probably intimidated by Sage. On the way in I was just rounding a corner when I spotted a snake lying in the road which we managed to miss after some heavy braking. Not knowing my snakes very well and having to rely on memory, I think it was an African Rock Python. Whatever it was, it was over a metre in length and about the thickness of my wrist. Very pretty indeed. Just after we arrived back Samuel found a stunned pygmy kingfisher, the smallest of the kingfishers. It had flown into one of the glass windows and all but knocked itself out. After about 30 minutes of recovery, firstly on Hannah's hand and then on a branch it flew off to a more secure perch and spent another 30 minutes recovering before disappearing.


On Friday we had a power failure. There must be something about me and power failures, they seem to follow me around. In the afternoon we drove out of the reserve to the nearby Rhino park which is operated by the Walkers who really put Lapalala on the map but who are no longer involved there. At the Rhino park we were lucky to see a young female being fed with pellets and even managed to hand feed the Rhino. Quite remarkable, the Black Rhino has a top lip a bit like an elephants trunk but obviously a whole lot shorter and no nostrils. If you hold out a hand of pellets it will clean the pellets out. Here we have firstly Samuel and then Hannah feeding the Rhino.


When we returned from the Rhino's the power was still out and things weren't looking so good, our food had survived one day but any longer and we were going to be in dire straits, possible diahorrea straits. Elias organised some gas fridges which worked a treat until the power was restored mid Saturday morning.

Our first game walk was on Saturday morning with Elias the guide who was nothing short of fantastic, he has a really good general knowledge and the odd thing he didn't know he would look up and come back to us like the gregarious spotted cockroaches which were quite amusing, a bit like a herd of sheep but small and insectivorous. The destination of the walk was a small dam which had canoes so I took all the children including Sage paddling and startled a water monitor lizard, just a baby one but boy could it move. The place where the canoes were stored had an old canoe to the one side and the termites had built a mound directly underneath and into the canoe which destroyed the canoe because, in picking it up, they had to use so much force to break the termite mound that they broke the back of the canoe as well. Seeing into the mound was fascinating, I always thought the passageways were small, like the size of the termites but they aren't, they're about the size of a wrist and the actual termite nest is a few metres away from the mound. The mound acts like an air conditioner and collects cool air which is fed through to the actual nest. Neat hey! Spent most of the rest of the day reading and writing which was very pleasant. I was reading next to the pool and Caron was swimming and throwing a ball to Samuel and a couple of times when Caron was distracted by Sage, Samuel took the opportunity to hit Caron on the head with the ball. She obviously wanted to get even but trying to hit someone on land when you're in the water is near impossible so she asked me to catch Samuel which I proceeded to do but he very cleverly jumped in the water out of my reach since I was in normal clothes. Unluckily for him I don't mind wet clothes and jumped in on top of him, clothes and glasses 'n all. He got such a shock that he sucked some water in, either up his nose or into his lungs and promptly burst into tears so I had two women looking at me accusingly so I spent the rest of the afternoon being grumpy because there was absolutely no reason to believe that I had done anything wrong and yet I was the first one accused.

Sunday we spent most of the day relaxing, swimming in the pool and reading and writing until our game drive which was pretty awesome. We saw blue wildebeest, rhino, impala, tsessebe, nyala, kudu, warthog, giraffe and the inevitable baboon but over and above the game, the bush we drove through was just absolutely beautiful. We saw a giraffe trying to mate and I was happy to see that it isn't only human females which give the males a hard (no pun intended) time, it seems to be a law of nature. Just before sundown we saw a golden orb spider which was really worth a photograph as shown below but the bastard went and expectorated/defecated all over my hand and camera. Perhaps the fact that I was lobbing small stones and twigs into his web to see him scuttle about had something to do with it ... maybe.

We only got back from the game drive at about 19:30 so Sage went straight to bed and left the rest of us in peace to see the new year in which was a pleasant if quiet affair.

Monday dawned way too early. It felt like we had only just gone to sleep. The walk was to a section of the Palala river where there are some bum slides. We had only just go there and of course Samuel has to wade into the middle of the river which is only about thigh deep, needless to say that he was swept off his feet which sent Elias running down the river to a point where he would be able to catch him, there being hippo and crocodiles in this river after all. Samuel managed to swim to the side and came out making light of it but his face when he fell in was totally at odds with his bravado afterwards. Simply put, he shat himself. Hannah, quite uncharacteristically, was very hesitant getting in but she eventually did and enjoyed it, I think. I took Sage down the bum slide and things were going pretty well until she saw some vegetation under the water which was when the wheels came off. Uppie, Uppie, UPPIE is Sage speak for I'm terrified, pick me up. Very nice place to walk to.




Not much to Tuesday, we went home. As usual, Kim made (or should have) the rest of us feel bad about how much work she does cooking and generally organising everything. One day we're going to have to do something about this, maybe tie her hands together, I'll have to think about it.

Christmas weekend

We have survived the Christmas rush once again, this is the time of year that we (Caron and I) normally overdose on family. We now have a one day break to gather our wits and our strength before heading off to another family filled weekend with the 'other' side.
Officially, I am on holiday, but that really just means that work takes a back seat rather than disappearing altogether. Unfortunate but true. I have tried previously to just leave my email until I get back but after receiving 45 000 emails on my return the one time, I now try and at least deal with a few to prevent a repeat of the tidal wave that assaulted me that time. I don't always manage it but I try.
Saturday was the last shopping day before christmas so I took the opportunity to get a fluorescent jacket for my brother, bruce, since he too has bought a 650cc motorbike although his is a kawasaki. My mother is in a state! I also purchased a very interesting book on riding a motorcycle safely, although this is a rather relative term since it can never be as safe as a car.
Spent the afternoon making the penultimate bookshelf for caron. I am desperately hoping that once she has filled these up, and she will although it may take some time, she will start throwing out books because I have now made enough bookshelves (10 to be precise). Besides, we would have to add onto the house in order to fit any more in and that is not something to be undertaken lightly. Also spent some time modifying my motorcycle jacket so that all the pockets have decent tags on them that one can use, even if one has gloves on.
Sunday morning, we were up at 05:15 to go and meet Jason and his brother in law, Vaughn at Northern Farm for a mountain bike ride. It has been raining pretty much every day for the last week so the course was really muddy which was great fun. A couple of nervous moments in ruts where one couldn't get out so one had to just peddle in a straight line and hope for the best. Fell back on the hills a bit, I think that maybe I'm just not that good on the hills. At the one river crossing instead of the normal 3" of water ther was about 12", if you kept you pedals at the 3h00 and 9h00 postitions your feet were just skimming over the water but you would have stopped midstream so there was no choice but to pedal in the water. Great fun! Jason and Vaughn had to leave before me so I did about an extra 30 minutes which was just fantastic. Starting to trust the front wheel a bit on the gravel around corners which is making the whole experience much better. Got back to the car completely covered in mud but for a change, I had some dry of clothes and a towel. It used to be white. Caron is not going to be happy!
Got home, washed the bike and myself before we had to make the house presentable for the family invasion which duly arrived at midday. Not sure what has gotten into me but I am just perpetually tired so I wasn't much fun, caron kept on asking me if I was ok which I was. Just really, really tired. After everyone left, we packed up and cleaned up since there is no maid to do it for us at the moment which is really bad timing. Got lots of really nice comments on my photo gallery which made me feel pretty good. You might say that they were family so they were just being polite but my experience with family is that they are even more likely to tell you the truth than friends. Friends you can disassociate yourself from, family on the other hand: only death provides relief.
Went to my parents for supper with the usual suspects, still feeling really tired so once again, I was just a bystander in the conversation. When we left, I couldn't drive I was so tired. Caron had to drive.
Woke up this morning and went for a jog. My knees are taking strain even though I am taking it really, really, really easy. I think I am going to have to go and see a doctor about it.
Opened our presents to each other. Very pleased with my present to Caron, an iPod adapter for the hifi which sounds great. I received the remaining DVD's for the Adams Family series as well as the Star Wars series which I am very happy to have. Started the final bookshelf but had to break and get ready for the Christmas lunch with, you guessed it, the family.
The Family in this case consists of 10 children and 12 adults although two of the adults and two of the children can't really be considered family, more like family once removed. One of the children was twelve years old and has a very noticeable, and I mean really noticeable, moustache. At twelve! poor bloke he's going to be shaving by the time he hits teenagerdom. Opening the chrismas presents was chaos with 10 children and a couple of additional elderly children forgetting their age. I think I want to be a child again, I'm sure the quantity of presents has increased since I was a child. Caron gave all of the children, in addition to a christmas present, a 'gross' toy. It has engendered near universal dislike by mothers and near universal fascination from children. There are whole lot of types, all variants of a theme, but to describe one would give you the idea. It is a rubber ball filled with blood and plastic maggots and what I think are entrails. You can't normally see anything but by squeezing the ball suddenly the maggots and entrails can be seen through the rubber. Gross hey but the children love them! By 16:30 I had had enough so we retired to our cave and I finished off the last bookself and retired to write my blog.

As I am writing this, I can see the lightning out of the window and hear the roll of the thunder. I have gotta admit that I just love it and if we were to go overseas it would definitely be one of the things which I would especially miss.

The book, the book, hit 'em with The Book!

The Book in this instance is any holy book (bible, koran, atkins diet, the god delusion etc) but the point is that arguing from a viewpoint which is based on the premise that the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is contained in said book, is a poor place to start from. Since the body of knowledge is expanding every day, this newfound knowledge has to be reconciled with the truth contained in a very finite book and if it either isn't there or worse, contradicts it, a crisis ensues while the hapless slave to the book works on the reconciliation. So, for me, while there are a great many truths to be found in all sorts of books, the thought of regarding any one book to be infallible defies logic.
Some might say that this is where faith comes in, one should just suspend logic in the face of the much more important faith. That would be fine up until the point that the contents of The Book are demonstrably internally inconsistent or contradict what has become known to be true. At this point, having forsaken logic, one is left with earnest faith in a falsehood. Not a good place to be. If on the other hand one takes a more pragmatic approach and just ignores the portions of the Holy Book that are inconvenient, prejudiced, pick your own criteria, etc what is one left with? the Holy Book according to the individual which is what I think most people actually do. Maybe unconsciously, but they do.

Ho Hum

Not a lot to report for this weekend, nor last week for that matter. Went out with caron and some of her work colleagues on thursday night with a customer of theirs from the U.K to moyo's which is an up market african chic kinda restaurant. Quite good food although I am probably not the best judge of that pretty much anywhere, had the lentil bobotie which was nice enough. The customer from the U.K had a couple of interesting observations like that it's quite expensive here with a few obvious exceptions (food and accommodation) and he was totally taken aback that johannesburg and sandton are just like the UK (no lions in the streets or backyards) which I guess is true. It is pretty much the same as any first world metropolis but it doesn't take much to pierce the veneer and discover the 3rd world lurking just beneath it. Mind you after the race riots in france last year or the los angeles riots a decade or two ago maybe the third world is everywhere and we just convince ourselves that we are living in the first world. Ever wondered what exactly first world and third world actually mean? Quite a pleasant guy but there was a certain kind of smugness which many 1st world inhabitants seem to exude, probably unconsciously (I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt), which just gets under my skin and irritates me.
On Saturday morning Caron buggered off to the krugersdorp lion park with the client and a whole bunch of other work colleagues, I just could't face an entire day with them so I bowed out and spent the day on my own trying to find an xmas present for caron. This is not an easy task since anything she really wants she just buys herself so you're left with everything she doesn't want, which is a bit of a conundrum. Also printed about 6 pictures in 10"x15" format to take for framing next week. I've been doing a project for the last year or so of printing and framing photographs which I have taken on my various wanderings around the world. I work on the premise that if you take enough photographs, some of them have to be good even if one has no skill with a camera.
Spent some time sitting in a coffe shop waiting for the pictures to be printed doing my favourite thing of watching the passers by. This guy came sauntering past with a very overdeveloped physique and a tiny head like he's been to borneo recently and I couldn't help but laugh to myself which invited some comments mirroring my thoughts from a mother and daughter sitting at the table next to me.
Laurel phoned so I went over and put up the two clothes hooks on the back of the bathroom door, we'll see how long they remain on the door this time. Back to sandton city to go and watch eragon which was reasonably good and really fitted my mood. Didn't want to actually do anything but didn't want to be doing nothing either. Home for supper, caron arrived home at 21:30 so I could at least retire for the night.
Sunday started at 05:30 with me waking up to an SMS to ask where I was, I was meant to meet Jason to go mountain biking but sleep got the better of me.
Spent the morning fixing the house, in particular the lounge ceiling which due to poor workmanship has been sagging on the one wall. Eventually attached some threaded rod to chains and the chains to the roof rafters so I could adjust the height of the ceiling to be flat. I doubt if there is a straight, square or 90 deg. wall in this entire house. It all looks like it is fine but get out the square and it is way off. Fixed a few other things like the circuit breaker next to the geyser which for god alone knows what reason, the plumber wired around. On checking the isolator I found it to be faulty which might hav been the reason that at one stage we had an electric current running around the water reticulation system. Hmmm! good time to fix this although it did make showering kinda exciting. Went back to laurels (kim is never there so for the time being, it's laurels) to put up some hooks to hang mosquito netting from.
Off to the DVD store to get "the long way around" which has been recommended by my sister. Crit to follow.

Virgin no more

Well, it had to happen sometime! My bike is a virgin no more, yes, that's right, I have dropped my brand new bike within the first two weeks. In my defence I was trying to ride offroad, diagonally up a steep grassy embankment and the rear wheel just slid out from underneath me on the grass. This encounter with the dirt proved two things, one that the foot brake is super malleable since it was really easy to bend it back into shape and secondly that I really can lift the 200kg bike relatively easily. I've been dreading the moment of truth when I find out if I can lift it, I had nightmares of struggling to get it back on its two wheels in a busy intersection with cars all around waiting and sniggering at my efforts to right the iron beast.
I have also filled up with my first tank of petrol. R75.00 for a full tank of fuel, ok my range may not be quite what a car would get on a full tank but 300km is pretty good going I think.
Every day when I get to work I have a look at my car which is looking a bit neglected. I think I had better take it for a drive this weekend and get it cleaned just so that it knows that it is still loved.
Why, you may ask, was I driving diagonally up a grassy embankment? The answer can be found at http://www.openstreetmap.org and what I was doing was trying to map my suburb with my GPS.

Tame Wildlife

As I mentioned before, part of the company function last week was the "Bird Show" at Monte Casino which, if you ever have the opportunity, is well worth the effort to go and see. The most remarkable thing about the show, as Barry pointed out, was that these are wild birds that have the opportunity to fly away (the show is entirely outdoors) but that don't. I'm not sure if their wings are clipped but they get to fly at least 60m in a single flight so I would guess that there is plenty of opportunity to escape. The spotted eagle owl was very reluctant to come out of his hole in the tower since the last show (yesterday) he was mobbed by a whole bunch of smaller birds. The smaller birds often gang up on a lone predator and mob them, hopefully intimidating the predator and chasing it away. Anyway, the eagle owl was reluctant to say the least but when it did fly it was totally silent, even though it flew within half a meter of one's head one couldn't hear it at all. Great to see these large predator birds up close since one only normally sees them at a distance. Another interesting tit bit was the fact that the owls are the dumbest of the bird predators since their eyes take up something like 2/3 of their brain cavity. If humans were to have eyes in the same proportion as owls, our eyes would be the size of grapefruit. Next time someone of the opposite sex makes eyes at you with their big beautiful eyes, just remember the tale of the owl.

To be an addict or not!

Went out yesterday for the end of year party which, since we are actually such a small company, is quite a low key affair. On top of that, most of the personalities are not exactly what one would call extroverted, mine included.

The whole company, all fourteen of us less two absentees, went to Montecasino for breakfast and thereafter to the bird show which was quite amazing and about which I will post in a couple of days time. While we were having breakfast we were looking over the fake stream, past the fake trees into the, anything but fake, casino and the conversation got going about how gamblers are addicts in the same way as smokers are. They just can't stop themselves. In light of "The God Delusion" which explains religion as a sort of a disease I started thinking along the lines that religion may more closely resemble an addiction than a disease and would explain quite nicely why people can't give it up and will sacrifice everything for it including their families and on occasion, themselves.

For purposes of this discussion, an addiction is anything that one just can't give up and includes some commonly acknowledged addictions as well as some which are not and it is definitely debatable as to whether they really are addictions at all.

By connotation, addictions are generally deemed to be 'bad' but since we, as people, seem to suffer from an awful lot of them, is it possible that some are actually good even if they are addictions? Furthermore some behaviour, in moderation, is typically deemed to be good and beneficial whereas the same behaviour in excess is typically deemed to be bad.

So far my list of possibly addictive endeavours, and yes, the definition of addiction is purposefully vague, are:

Substance Addictions : Where the body is addicted to something which is ingested into ones' body.
Drugs
Cigarettes
Sugar (just you try and give it up!)
Alcohol

Activity Addictions : Where the addict performs some kind of physical endeavour which results in the body itself producing chemicals to which the body becomes addicted.
Exercise
Extreme Sports (Adrenalin)
Sex
Gambling

Mind Addictions : Where the addicts' mind indulges in thought patterns, once again producing chemicals to which the body becomes addicted.
Love
Porn
Religion
Altruism
Nationalism

I doubt anyone would argue too hard on the Substance and Activity Addictions not being addictions but the Mind Addictions needs some explaining. Basically what I am trying to do is look at illogical behaviour that results from some kind of mind set and posing the question, is this actually an addiction that determines the behaviour so here goes.
Love - Ever done anything really stupid or embarassing because you were 'in love'? What is this feeling of 'in love', could it be a bunch of chemicals which your body likes and the thought of the object of your desire generates these chemicals, hence Love.
Porn - I don't think I need to explain or provide examples, pretty self evident.
Religion - People have excommunicated parents, children or siblings for not believing the same way. They have even sacrificed themselves for what they believe in. Could this be because religion provides the addict with some kind of assurance of acceptance by a god and the mere thought of this creates an addiction? People who challenge this assurance by not believing the same way need to be excommunicated just in case they influence the addict and he/she loses the assurance of acceptance.
Altruism - Same as Religion except that the acceptance is by the addict themselves.
Nationalism - What posseses a soldier to jump out of a trench and run straight at the enemy who is trying to shoot him. Death is near certain and yet people do. Could this be the same desire for acceptance but this time by the Nation? The 'For king and country' saying comes to mind.

Interesting!

Tip for the mercenary capitalists out there, create products for people with addictions, it is a guaranteed market, the consumers just can't help themselves.

Bike Ahoy

My days and weeks of waiting are finally over and I am now the proud owner (well the bank is in reality) of one shiny new BMW 650GS motorcycle. Purchased to commute to and from work although I have to admit to having entertained ideas of touring through southern europe on it. Going to have to work on Caron so that she will ride as well, she hasn't said no which is a good start.

This is what she looks like.



and again here ...

Richard No More

Richard was discovered, squeaky clean but very dead, trapped in the dishwasher. The victim of caron's domestic urge to clean everything.

RIP Richard

Too much PT

My yacht is finally back on the Vaal, thank goodness. Tim and I went down to Durban on the weekend to fetch it in a Mitsubishi Colt 3.0l V6 which was kindly lent to us by Rob. The weekend went like this. Woke up at 05:00 on Saturday morning to fetch Tim at 05:55 and then drove down to Durban which is an 8 hour drive at 110km/hr. Not great fuel consumption but not too bad, coming from the super meagre 2l diesel we were expecting the worst. We were not disappointed on the return trip. Packed up the yacht, dropped the mast which proved to be a non event, packed everything ready for towing early on Sunday morning. Tried to pump up the tyres of the trailer but after finishing the first tyre, the pump had an internal malfunction and blew the fuse in the car. Not knowing this, someone else at the club let us use his car so we blew his fuse as well. Way to go boys!. Spent about 30 minutes trying to get the tow hitch to work since it was rusted completely solid. Nothing that a rain of hammer blows and lots of Q20 couldn't sort out though. When we tried to manoevre the trailer the one wheel just slid along the ground instead of rotating, not a good sign.
Tim has just purchased 1/2 of an 36' Atlantis which he tried to convince me to take a 1/3 share in. I was surprised to hear that he had shelled out for 1/2 because it is quite a lot of money but in retrospect, I am really happy that I declined. It would have been the wrong thing for me to have done since Caron is not that enamoured with sailing and there is a definite upper limit to the amount of money I am prepared to spend on it.
Went to collect the keys from the now ex owner who kindly offered us accomodation for the night not to mention supper. They were having people over for a braai in any case so two extra people didn't really make much of a difference. After the day I wasn't that keen on going and I don't like imposing on people that I haven't even met but we 'had' to go there anyway to collect the keys. Amazing how when Tim needs to do something it's a 'have' to whereas when anyone else needs to do something it is definitely a negotiation.
Had the usual awkward vegetarian thing which I solved by buying a vegetarian burger beforehand and then putting it on my plate in the place of the spare ribs and sirloin. I'm sure most vegetarians would empathise with this, what happens when one goes out, for instance, to a braai is that there is normally lots of salads and stuff, more than enough to have a good meal but the carnivores just can't take the sight of a plate without some dead, half incinerated ex animal on it. So you get comments like "Are you sure that you've had enough?" and one can see the host desperately thinking about what they could possibly rustle up to take the place of the ex animal. They really don't need to but they just can't help themselves so to solve this, I came prepared with a veggie burger which did the trick. No awkwardness on the part of the hosts and no empty plate for me.
Quite a pleasant evening which really highlighted the differences between Johannesburg and Durban/Capetown living. In Johannesburg weekends are the brief interlude marking the end of one and the beginning of the next week whereas in Durban, weeks are what separates one weekend from another. In durban it is all about life style, in johannesburg it is all about the work.
Woke up at 04:30 on Sunday morning, had breakfast and thanked our hosts for the evening, it really was kind of them to have put us up. Hitched up the trailer and started the drive but it really felt like the trailer was dragging so we stopped about 3 times in the first 2km to check the bearings and sure enough there was something really, really wrong. After only a couple of km's the bearings were hot to the touch and the brake drums where untouchable. We both had visions of having to strip the wheels and rebuild them from the bearings up while the vagrants around the bonfire 50m away watched us. Not good! Fortunately Tim spotted a place where the brake rod went through a tight sleeve which wasn't moving because it was rusted fast. More blows with the hammer, lots of Q20 and a couple of twists with some vice grips and the problem was solved although it took several more stops before we were completely happy.
Had our usual political/religious/scientific/philosophical arguments which I thoroughly enjoy. Came up with an interesting point which goes like this. One of the fruits of being a christian should be that said christian commits fewer sins than he would otherwise have done if he wasn't a christian. Now measurement of sins is a little tricky because it leads to awkward questions like what exactly is a sin and are all sins equal which I, for one, am not going to venture an opinion on. One can however draw a comparison in that sin, like divorce is very much frowned upon in the church and unlike sin we really are able to measure divorce. Unfortunately divorce in or out of the church affects approximately the same number of people which begs the question, if the frowning on divorce does not lead to an appreciable difference in the divorce rates can one say that the frowning on sin in general does not lead to an appreciable difference in the sin rate. If so, what exactly is the point of the religion if it does not lead to an appreciable difference in how one lives one's life? Phew, that was a mouthful.
Got back to Deneysville at last after yet another 8 hour drive, very thankful to have this part of the journey over and done with. Put the mast up which is quite a mission because as you push it up you have to move closer to the fulcrum and as you move closer, you have less leverage until the mast starts to support itself whereupon it gets easier. The problem is the period just before it starts getting easier, I pushed so hard against the mast with my should that I have a 75x5mm blood blister across my shoulder from the pressure of the mast. It looks like I have been caned across my shoulder.
Finished getting the yacht ready to sail again and left for home which we got to at about 19:00, pretty exhausted and very glad to see Caron again. Fuel cost for the weekend was a cool R1500.00 (max consumption was 22l /100km) which is what I would normally expect to spend in about 3 months of normal fuel consumption. Ouch! Great to be home.

Nooooo! that's disgusting

If you manage to get through Sacha Baron Cohen's "Borat" without thinking this at least once, you are dangerously close to being mentally disturbed, please visit a psychiatrist and/or psychologist immediately. I think the script was written to find as many holy cows as possible and then to stamp all over them. I think he can say "mission accomplished" (unlike GW) although if I was him, a few extra body guards would probably be a good idea for a while.

Having now seen the movie, I think a fitting response to it would be to think of the most polically correct person you know and inveigle them into going and see it. I'm sure they would love it, not!

P.S. The age restriction is there for a good reason.

94.7km of Rain

Sunday morning awoke with a low, ominous blanket of cloud. Uncharacteristically, this had actually been predicted by the weather bureau so we were all a little surprised that it really was cloudy and wet. Awoke at 04:15, breakfast and dress in cycling gear and bolt out of the house to fetch Ross at 05:15. The 94.7 cycle race has full road closure which for the cyclists is a huge bonus, for the rest of Johannesburg it is an annual exercise in forced relaxation. Essentially what road closure means is that the roads, almost 100km of them in a big circle, are closed to traffic at least from the start of the race to the end. This includes traffic attempting to cross said roads and pretty much puts paid to any plans to get into the circle if you are outside and outside if you are inside. Needless to say, Ross is outside and we are inside so I had to sneak across an intersection dodging the traffic cones, bales of hay and steel pedestrian barriers to fetch ross and then sneak back across the same intersection to get to the starting line which we managed in ample time. Got our bikes off, kit and food on and went to the pens waiting for the start. To put it into perspective, there are about 28 000 cyclists in this race which is an awful lot of bicycles and people so the organisation has to be absolutely top notch otherwise there would be total pandemonium
The gun goes and we're off, I'm in group F and I really hope it doesn't stand for Fall in the wet. As usual everyone, myself included, start too fast. It is just about impossible not to but after about 10km the brain kicks in and remembers that it still has about 85km to go and at this rate, the last 10km is going to be real hell. Up the first serious hill which is a fair hill but since you have just started it feels like just about nothing. It rained for the following forty kilometers which made negotiating all the really nice descents in this part of the course a little bit nerve wracking. Went past where Kim and Laurel said they would be, no Kim and Laurel. Went past where Kirsten and Carl would be, no Kirsten and Carl. Not that I blame them, standing in the pouring rain watching bedraggled cyclists coming whizzing past doesn't rate all that highly in my book at least.
The watering stations are looking forlorn, all the helpers standing under the tents and all the cups of liquid refreshment standing untouched on the tables. With all this rain about it is hard not to be taking in enough liquids.
Had a horrible moment where I thought I could hear the 'psssss' of a puncture but it didn't seem to go down so it must have been the water on the road. Though of making 'psss', 'psss', 'psss' noises and watching the reactions of the cyclists around me but I preferred the thought of finishing the race in one piece.
Felt quite strong at the half way make at 01:32 but I had really been hoping for less than 01:30. Just after the halfway mark there was a religious banshee screaming from the sidelines about how inconsiderate we all are by blocking the roads (which is true) and that she has to get to church and that we really shouldn't be riding on a Sunday, we should also all be in church. Much humour erupts from the peleton, I quietly think that church hasn't exactly helped her, perhaps she should give up on it.
Turn onto the N14 and into the wind. Very strange wind this year it comes and goes when it feels like it and no matter which direction one is cycling you get occasional headwinds, tailwinds or no wind at all. Anyway, headwind it is and the bunch sucks itself together and I take a small turn in the front so that I can at least say that I didn't draft the entire way. Off the highway and pushing quite nicely now, much better than last year. This year I can actually respond to the bunch and manage the surges whereas last year I was totally incapable of doing this by this time.
Climb the penultimate hill strongly and surge down to where the finish line was last year which I would have clocked in at just on 3 hours. They've moved the finish line 3km's down the road and up another hill but I'm feeling strong so not a problem. Went over a timing matt about 500m before the finish and a lot of people stopped pedalling but I wasn't feeling so bad so I just kept on going to where I could see the finishing banner. Passed an ambulance attending to someone prostrate in the bushes beside the road, must have been a casualty of the bunch sprint and crossed the finish line feeling like I could do another 20 or 30km's easily. Time: 03:07:53. Ross finishes after me which is a good sign since he started later than me. His time: 03:07:53. The same to the second. Hard to believe but true.
Met up with Caron and Jason in the BB&D tent, Jason did a 02:51:00 which is pretty awesome since the pro's did about 02:20:00 and lady pro's did 02:48:00
Overall it was a fantastic race, very well organised and thoroughly enjoyable.
Dropped Ross off and went home to shower, nap and read Q&A the rest of the day.

P.S. Tim did a 04:21:00 which I'm not going to comment on and no, he didn't crash.

Of Spiders and Motorcycles

We welcome two additions to our household this week. The first is Richard the Rain Spider, as pictured below, who has taken up residence in the kitchen. Seems fairly demure so we are letting him live there, hopefully the cat or the maid doesn't get him. Kinda out there having a wild spider living in the kitchen. I wonder what the famdamily is going to say when they come over for supper on Saturday.


The second addition to the family hasn't actually arrived but her arrival is inevitable.

I was sitting in the traffic on tuesday and after 45 minutes I was only 1/2 way to work which is just such a waste of time and it was the straw that broke the proverbial camels back. The time has come to move to two wheels. Instead of going to the office I went to the local BMW dealers and bought a BMW F650GS which is a on-road off-road, single cylinder thumper. This move is not as sudden as it might seem as I have been toying with the idea for a couple of years but the timing and frustration levels weren't right. There are actually a few of reasons that I have bought a bike, firstly so that I don't have to spend so much time in the traffic every morning and evening. Secondly, they pollute the evironment less than cars, thirdly, I want to see whether we can move to a one car family and fourthly, they are great fun. At the moment, we will be keeping both cars and seeing how it will work out but if I look around me in the traffic, almost without exception, each car only has one person in it, the driver. And these are all the people that complain about the traffic when they themselves are responsible for the problem in the first place. I would definitely be in favour of some kind of legislation that penalises cars that only have one person in it. I find it ironic that the cars which are creating the actual pollution and congestion problem are also preventing its solution. Most people commuting would be able to cycle to work and if that doesn't suit them, ride a motorcycle to work but a large part of the reason that they don't is that it is too dangerous because of .... the cars.

It is over a decade since I last rode a bike on a regular basis so I am a little nervous about getting on my brand new, scratch free, beemer but there isn't any other way to do it than just jump on and go.

Blue arsed weekend

Went out on friday evening for dinner and a movie called "Children of Men" which looked the best of a sorry selection of movies and now, having seen it, the others must be pretty awful. The best part by far of the movie was Michael Caine who was excellent as the disillusioned journalist. There was precious little to recommend it other than that, no convincing story, no twist in the tail. Just a dark, morose, movie and it could have been such a good movie since it is based on a really novel premise. Pity. When the trailers are more enjoyable than the movie, the director has missed the target.

Saturday was a bit frenetic. Vet to get Al checked up, somehow he knows when he has to go to the vet because he makes himself scarce just when you need to put him in the carry case. Back home, drop cat. Off to woolworths for weekly shop, back home to drop shopping off. Off to picture framing shop to get yet another photograph framed. I am now only two pictures away from finishing my gallery which has taken over the one whole wall in the lounge. Quite nice walking into a shop and the proprietor greets you by name and knows exactly which frame to use so it only took 5 minutes to choose the borders and disappear towards Fruits and Roots for a healthy breakfast. Saw Chris and Theresa briefly at Fruits and Roots, Theresa looking a little awkward for some reason. Off to the bicycle shop to buy a saddle post with a shock absorber built into it. Time will tell how well it works but at R200.00 it is much, much cheaper than buying a full suspension mountain bike at R10 000.00. Quite looking forward to trying it out on the mountain bike. Home for a moment to drop Caron off before traipsing into work to help with a change control. Stopped at the bookshop on the way home to buy fedora core manual. Home, change into my tux which is about 20 years old and gets worn approximately once every two to three years. Pleased to say that it still fits more or less. Off to Carons' companys end of year function.

Arrive at the function and the first thing we see is a semi naked man in the parking lot who turned out to be Robin, an old colleague of Carons. He was getting changed in the parking lot and I couldn't resist the opportunity to get in a couple of wolf whistles and comments to which he responded in kind. The function was held in a hangar which doesn't sound like a great place to hold a function but Carons company is large enough that it actually felt fine. Evening started off with a fashion show. Yes, a real dinkum fashion show complete with gorgeous models. Some of the models were a bit inexperienced and you could tell that they were very self conscious which I totally understand. I could never be a model aside from the obvious problems of only being 5'6 and not particularly photogenic. Made the mistake of letting one of Carons work colleagues get me a drink, it must have been at least a quadruple whisky. No friggin' food at the function and definately very little vegetarian food. Went home really hungry which didn't bode well for the ride on Sunday morning. Dropped Caron off at home put the bike rack on the car and went to work at 23:30, completed the afternoons change control and got back home at 00:30, exhausted.

Alarm woke me at 04:30, couldn't believe it was time to get up. Took a while surfacing and was a little late which Glynne took great glee in pointing out to all and sundry. The gentle 80km ride turned into a bit of a race with 5 people in the group. After about 30km we were averaging just short of 30km/hr which is very fast for a training ride. Fantastic riding, great weather just a pity about the speed. Ross and I turned around at 35km while everyone carried on since neither Ross nor myself wanted to do too much. I think I was feeling the aftereffects of the late night, alcohol and lack of food because I didn't feel strong at all on the ride. Finished the ride, dropped Ross off at his house and went home.

Shower, catnap and back into the car to go down to the dam (90 minutes) to see Kirsten and Carls new weekend cottage. Some cottage. Very nice motorboat with 200hp motor, plenty of vooma!. Had real duzi of a thunder storm which was awesome watching it over the dam. If you aren't going to make it big in this life at least organise that you have a family member or a friend that does so that you can at least taste the life. Pack up house and boat, drive home, buy Indian takeaways, retire home. Exhausted.

Brother Ariel and Sister Bob

Aside from their countries of domicile and the fact that they both manage to breathe while at the same time not being able to think, they have nothing to do with this post.

I woke up today thinking about the similarities that exist in between Israel and Zimbabwe and how it is somehow completely acceptable to hold a particular view on one country and the contrary view on the other country. Surely we should be more consistent? This would be the point where Patch would say that he reserves judgement until after the case has been made so here goes.

Several years ago Zimbabwe, ably led by Bob, decided that the Zimbabwean land had originally been stolen by the Farmers from them, the original inhabitants, in the first place so the land was forfeit and ripe for annexation at the point of a gun if required. Well the point of the gun was required as well as some 'legal' skulduggery and intimidation of the judiciary because, strangely, the farmers felt they were being hard done by and fought back with everything they could short of firearms since that was a war they had already lost twenty years previously. Most opinions of this land grab was that the farmers were the aggrieved party and that running people off their land at the point of a gun was not the done thing.

Onto Israel which prior to 1948 was substantially owned by the Palestinians, post 1948 it was substantially owned and more so as time went on by Israelis, the Palestinians having been moved off their lands at the point of a gun or by 'legal' dispossession if required. Most opinions of this land grab is that it is entirely justifiable and just what are the Palestinians complaining about?

My point is that I find that often people are sympathetic to the plight of the Farmers but not to the Palestinians and conversely, sympathetic to the Zimbabweans but not the Israelis. Surely one should be sympathetic to the plight of the Farmers and the Palestinians or on the other side to the Zimbabweans and the Israelis if one is to remain consistent in ones' political leanings?

Three things

This is one of those weeks where the world turns ...

Firstly, I don't find it often that I am proud to be a human being, on the whole we've made a pretty good job of ruining the planet as well as one anothers' lives. We seem to have a real knack for destruction of any kind.

What prompted this was PW Botha's funeral which Thabo Mbeki as well as other well known anti apartheid activists attended. Here we have people who fought tooth and nail against an (elected) dictator, who never repented nor seemed to feel remorse for the suffering he caused, going to his funeral to pay their respects. They didn't have to go to the funeral, the ANC offered a state funeral to the family who declined so there was absolutely no reason for any anti apartheid activists to have gone, they had already gone the extra mile by even offering a state funeral.

Perhaps they just went to make absolutely sure that he was gone and six feet under but either way the message came out loud and clear that it is possible to let the past go and concentrate on the future. All it requires is real people displaying genuine leadership.

Secondly, Schabir Shaik entered prison for a 15 year jail term. Although there is still a long road ahead, there does seem to be a real chance that we have an independent judiciary. In first world countries this might be taken for granted even when it isn't true. Here, it is definitely not a given, so to see an associate with very strong political connections having to go to jail for 15 years for corruption, is such a ray of sunshine.

Thirdly, Bush loses the majority in both Congress and the Senate. It remains to be seen if there is any change following from this, I have my doubts, but anything has to be be better than Bush with a majority in both houses. Personally, I don't expect very much because I reckon that the Democrats are just the Hyde part of Jekyll, they're actually the same underneath. Hopefully I am wrong.

A Walk on the Wild Side

Well, quite a weekend of kill or be killed. Unfortunately I was a witness to one murder, the perpetrator in two and almost the victim in a third. So I use a bit of literary licence, so what!

I think it is just that time of year because both Caron and I are absolutely exhausted and not the pleasant exhaustion that comes from exercise. As a result, neither Caron nor myself can actually remember anything from last week, it is like we tore the week out of the diary so my most distant memory is that of Saturday morning which I actually remember quite well since it started at 04:30.

Met Jason at Cycle Lab to go for a long medium pace ride. He was quite pleased that I arrived after him, not that I was late it's just that he was actually there before me. My how things change. Started the ride at 05:30 just as the sun was starting to peep over the horizon. What an absolutely fabulous day. Spring time is just fantastic in Joburg. Cool mornings, clean (relatively at least) air, gorgeous soft light, hot days and rain in the afternoon to cool it down for the evening. Absolutely perfect, such a pity one has to have the odd oppressively hot and freezing cold days to make one really appreciate the good days.

Met up with two guys cycling at about the same pace as ourselves who asked how far we were going. 100km was our answer thinking this would get rid of them, their reply was a nonchalant, we're doing 150km, mind if we join you for a while? Hmmm, oh well Ok, if you put it like that. They then proceeded to regale us with horror stories about falling off bicyles and motor bikes and breaking and scraping just about everything possible. Not so sure I want to be riding with people this accident prone. Call me superstitious but ....

We all cycled along quite nicely for about 60km when we got to the Krugersdorp hill which is a long grind up about 5km of relatively gentle gradient with periodic steep parts. Jason, as usual, takes this to be a personal challenge to be conquered at as fast a pace as possible so I hung on for dear life about 100m behind him, losing ground inexorably. When we got to the top we turned around to find them expecting them to be just behind us but they were't there, they must have been at least 1000m behind us which made us both feel pretty good although neither of us said anything. Not good form to gloat and there is always a chance that they were conserving their strength for the extra 50km they were doing ... but I doubt it. Nobody likes to get dropped.

Took our leave of them so they could continue on the 150km and had the most fantastic ride, easy spinning down gentle slopes with the wind behind us was just bliss. Phoned Caron and Cathy (and Kelly) to meet us at the design court for breakfast which was great if a little dangerous for the ol' wallet. Meeting wives in a centre dedicated to decor is probably not a bright idea to be repeated too often.

Went to Kim and Laurel for lunch which was delicious as usual. They both seem to cook so well or maybe it is just that Caron and I put our energy into other things because the cooking at home is not what one would call spectacular. This would also explain why we eat out so often. After lunch it was my turn to put up, fix and otherwise make myself handy around their house which was about the time that the first murder happened.

In the last few years there seems to have been a dramatic influx of indigenous birds back into Johannesburg and one of the birds to have made a reappearance is the Burchells Coucal which is a beautiful bird with a beautiful call but some nasty psychopathic behaviour. It's a predator but not the kind that waits for prey to be at least full grown, it preys on other birds eggs and chicks. Hauling them out of the nest and killing them while the parents frantically dive bomb the coucal hoping to distract it. The hapless pigeon parents were a bit late and the coucal had already killed the chick so the dive bombing only had the effect of making the coucal drop the carcass which the garden boy promptly picked up and put into a plastic bag. The coucal then spent about 10 minutes on the ground looking for the carcass where it knew it dropped it before Kim went and retrieved the carcass and put it back on the ground. Within about a minute the coucal was back and away with Saturday lunch. We might not have lions roaming the streets of Johannesburg but this definitely qualifies as a wildlife kill.

Finished the handyman act and retired to read "Spud" which is quite a humourous account of boarding school life circa 1990 in the Natal midlands. Feeling a bit two toned due to not putting sun tan cream on this morning since I thought that the sun wouldn't be too hot by 09:30 when we stopped riding. I was wrong and I now have an exceptionally marked farmers tan, think badly sunburnt. Actually quite sore especially under the shower. Went to bed early and woke up late ... at 04:45 on a Sunday morning can you believe it. Met Tim, Ross, Mike and a new guy Ralph for a 60km cycle to the botanical gardens and back. Still a little sore from yesteday so I took it relatively easy most of the time but couldn't resist putting some effort in on the last few hills which left everyone except Ross trailing far behind. Ross has deep seated psychological problems and just cannot let someone beat him. He would rather bonk (hit the wall, not the usual connotation) than let someone get away. This is a really fun trait to have in someone because they can't help themselves and you just have to push yourself a little bit to watch them bursting a foofie valve determined to beat you. Thoroughly enjoyed the ride, particularly the last hill where for a change I felt really strong even dropping a gear and sprinting up the steep bits.

Yesterday was the SIL's (Sisters in Law) house handyman stunt. Today is home handyman, specifically the gutters need cleaning and if there is one handyman type chore that I really detest, it is cleaning the gutters. Spotted some carpenter bee holes in my rafters. Carpenter bees are very large and have a nasty habit of burrowing into rafters, I have read that this does not significanlty weaken the structure but I dont' see how it can't. This is definitely a case of NIMBY (Not in my back yard) and the bees had to go. Sprayed DOOM into the hole and waited for the bees to exit and die. One got out of his hole before I had a chance to spray it and terrorised me for a minute or two before making himself scarce. I really wish they didn't make homes in rafters, and it's not like there isn't a whole lot of dead wood around for them to choose from. Dying to make a wisecrack about some people being deadwood but I have to restrain myself.

Onto the dreaded gutter clearing exercise which normally just entails using a long ladder, clearing leaves out and using high pressure water to dislodge the rest and wash it down the drainpipe. This works fine for most gutters but one, in particular, can't be done like this. It is about 6m off the ground and well out of reach of the ladder so one has to approach it by walking down the roof and squatting near the edge on the 45 deg roof enabling one to use both hands to scoop the dead leaves out of the gutter. This leaves (pardon the pun) one's nose poking out over space, in this case about 6m of vertical drop and this is not a good time to get vertigo. So there I am perched precariously on the edge when out pops a spider from the pile of leaves between my hands and skoots up the roof heading for you know where. I am not normally scared of spiders but there are limits and having a spider trespassing over one's privates is way over the line. Needless to say, vertigo went out the window and I moved rather rapidly backwards up the roof on all fours as fast as I could thus denying the spider the opportunity to latch onto anything .... well, the gutters are finished now and no, I didn't kill the spider.

Spent the rest of the afternoon reading which completed a very satisfying weekend.

Oh yes, enjoyed a lack lustre All Black side walloping England.

Power, what power?

This last week was a bad week for power outages. By the end of the week I was starting to feel like I had some kind of bad power karma. It started last weekend with a 2 hour power outage between midnight and about 2am at work which, for a change, were non events since the generator actually did what it was purchased to do. The problem was that I didn't know about the outage until monday morning when I arrived at work which means that the monitoring system ain't workin' like it ought to. Turned out that since we spent a good deal of the previous week putting the new switches into the server room the SNMP card in the UPS's hadn't been reset and because of this, it was refusing to notify anyone of mains power availability. Wierd I know but this is the way it works. Went out on tuesday night to Rosebank to see 'An Inconvenient Truth' which if you're a greenie you have got to see. On the other hand, if you are are an energy junkie then you REALLY have to go and see it. Got a bit schmaltzy in a couple of places which I didn't feel were required in order for Al Gore to make his point but on the whole, a pretty good movie and well worth watching. Back to my energy woes, about 30 minutes before the movie starts we were just finishing supper when, bang, darkness descended and when you're in a mall, it really is absolutely pitch black. Generators kicked in and the emergency lighting switched on so we could at least finish the dinner but alas, no movies tonight. Received two complimentary tickets instead which we had to use within 2 weeks which was pretty mean of them I thought. Had to call it quits for the evening since caron's favourite cave 'Exclusive Books' closed its doors the moment the power went of. Wednesday morning, up early to go to gym. Had a great ride although I really do prefer to be out on the road as I did on Tuesday morning. Got to the showers, that's strange, nobody else is showering. After a couple of minutes waiting for the hot water it became painfully apparent why. No friggin hot water and I do NOT like cold showers. I have had more than my fair share of cold showers but by this time it was a bit late; so cold it was. After the initial shock, it was vaguely pleasant in a sado machocistic kinda way. Thursday evening, we go out for supper and again, no electricity! This is starting to get like the racist joke about what did people used to using in Zambia before they had paraffin for lighting ... electricity of course. Since there wasn't any electricity, the range of dishes one could buy was somewhat diminished and I ended up have portuguese sardines which if you haven't had them, don't. Unless of course, you enjoy trying to separate a gazillion bones from the flesh. A very delicate operation and not entirely successful, had to chew really well to prevent some body piercing where I don't want it. Friday evening, tried the movies again without too much hope and wonder of wonders, electricity. The movie, of course, is basically about our excessive energy usage and the effect that the production of energy is having on the environment. From what I have experienced this week we ought to be well placed to sell some carbon credits since we never seem to have any to electricty to use ourselves. Saturday morning we drive down to the dam, switch on the lights in the caravan and blow me down. No electricity. What the expletive is going on! In one week, I experienced no less than 5 different power outages, all in different areas and on different power grids. I have to admit that the cold showers was actually scheduled maintenance as I found out afterwards and the caravan was simply because the switch board had tripped most likely due to a lightening strike which is a fairly common occurance. But still, three times in a week ... living in darkest africa is starting to take on some real meaning.

Had the most fantastic weekend after I had calmed down after the electricity fiasco. With the yacht still in Durban there was precious little to do, in fact, there was absolutely nothing to do except read which is what I did almost the entire weekend. Finished 'The God Delusion' which I thoroughly enjoyed and is recommended reading especially if you think you're not going to like it. I've handed it over to my father for a different, independent view point which I'm sure he'll enjoy sharing with me at some stage. On sunday afternoon I saw a rubber duck being launched and it all looked pretty normal until the crew member started to pump up the pontoons and I repeat, after it had already been launched. There is something deeply perturbing about starting the motor on an inflatable boat and driving out into the middle of the dam while the crew member furiously pumps away to prevent the boat deflating. Some people are just plain wierd.

Taxi Triangle

I think I have a Taxi Triangle just down the road from me. At least once a month there is a broken down taxi sucked dry of it's will to live in the left hand lane, all within about 100m of each other. Now, taxi's are pretty hardy individuals so this triangle must be pretty powerful and it is a mystery as to why it is never a car or a motorbike. It only seems to affect Taxis. I do wish that it wouldn't just such the life out of the Taxi but that it would remove the entire Taxi to some other place and time.

Coincidence? I think not! We have a Taxi Triangle.

Chance Irony

Yet again, I find myself having to take a couple of days at work to recover from the weekend. Not for the usual reason though! This time the weekend was squashed into nothingness between friday and monday, i.e. I worked just about the entire weekend. Saturday night was particularly bad, started at 20:00 and finished at 03:00 just in time to wake up at 06:00 to go back to work. I would not make a good medical person since I generally spend sundays after late nights trying to ignore things and not react. I know that I am not thinking nor behaving rationally so I try to think and behave as little as possible. Caron would definately agree with the behave as little as possible part at least. So between work and .... work, there isn't a whole lot to tell about the weekend. It was however rescued from the abyss of wasted weekends by a single incident that happened on Sunday afternoon when a few very old (both meanings) friends whom we see very seldom came over. I really should have planned the late night better but I didn't have full control over that.
I have been reading the "God Delusion" which I am finding fascinating, can't really give a recommendation since I haven't finished it yet but thus far, if you are spiritually or intellectually adventurous, give it a go. The chapter that I have been reading is about whether the complexity that we see in the natural world came about 'By Chance' or by 'By Design'. 'By Chance' implying evolution and 'By Design' implying by god. The argument goes that it is highly improbable that the complexity all around us came about by chance therefore it must have been by design and therefore there must be a god. QED.
Back to Sunday afternoon, I was lying outside in the shade of the plum tree, and no, a plum didn't fall on my pip, when Paul arrived. What a coincidence he has just bought the same book and even more remarkably we happen to be reading the same chapter. Remarkable, what is the probability of that happening. Highly improbable I would say, too improbable for it to have happened by chance, it must have been by design. Hmmm, and here arrives the irony. Why would god have it that both of us read the same book that is dedicated to proving that he doesn't exist?
Ok, Ok I can hear the inquisition at the door already demanding that I shouldn't be comparing apples with pears and I have too agree but only insofar as comparing 'By Chance' and 'By Design' is also comparing apples with pears.

Dysfunctional Capitalism

Notwithstanding what I said in my previous post regarding Adams invisible hand, a couple more thoughts. Competition within certain industries can sometimes lead to undesirable consequences such as a loss of quality. By way of example, the repeated electricity blackouts in the north east of the united states which happened in the early 90's ('93 I think) and then again in the early 2000's ('04 I think). The point is that they happened and after 10 years, the underlying situation had not been corrected and it happened again. My contention is that this is an illustration of competition taken to its extreme where the scramble for customers has driven prices down to such a degree that the business itself is not really sustainable. In order for the companies to provide the cheapest rate they have had to, over time, optimise their businesses to such an extent that if there are unexpected loads there is no 'fat' (excess capacity) available and hence the power outages. Now the question is, why was there not sufficient excess capacity? Did the engineers just miscalculate the demand curve over time? Were there more than one unusual event and the engineers had only calculated the demand from a single unusual event? Was there not enough capital expenditure due to the requirement to make profits or if there were no profits, to merely stay in business?
I think that it is possible for competition to drive prices so low that the quality of the service is undermined and that this is detrimental to the customer, perhaps more so than if the customer had to pay slightly more but have a better quality service. Of course there is the risk that the 'slightly more' just goes to the bottom line and there is no improvement in the quality of service.
Surely, in the same way that competition tends to drive prices down to a point, there should be an opposing principle which prevents the quality of a service from deteriorating past a point. This should be the customer choosing a more expensive quality service over a cheaper option with less quality but what tends to happen is that customers choose the cheapest option and then berate the supplier for not having the quality of the supplier which they rejected.
I think that what I am saying is that there are certain industries, fundamental ones, like electricity and telecoms, where the quality of the service is of such importance that there has to be excess capacity to cater for the unknown and that in these industries, perhaps competition is not the smartest idea.

Sundays should all be like this

After Saturdays exertions it was great to wake up late-ish i.e. after 07:00 having had an absolutey awesome nights rest. It is a pity that it requires so much exercise to get to sleep so well, Caron on the other hand needs no invitation to sleep. She's a total natural. Took the cars for a wash 'n polish before we went to our local nursery which has an excellent restaurant on the one side. A bit wierd having a restaurant in a nursery but it actually works quite well. I normally get to read the newspaper while Caron goes plant hunting. A friend of mine refers to this as dog food shopping, he buys the plants, she plants the plants, the dogs eat the plants, he buys the plants etc, etc, etc.

Very nice setting, loads of parents and children but we just sat quietly in the corner minding our own business, reading our newspapers. We spent most of the time looking for properties and trying to assess the market for a possible splurge on a property. It's just investigating at the moment and I actually don't want to move since we are quite happy in our current home but the times, they are a-changing and we need to move with them.

Went to see several properties in a number of suburbs and were happy to see that, once you reconcile yourself to spending ludicrous amounts of money, there are actually some really nice homes available.

Went past Kirsten and Carls for a very pleasant, as usual, visit. Kirsten was her usual feisty self and Carl was the suitably demure husband. Hmmmmm!

Crater Cruise 1, Roland 0

The weekend started really badly. Did a seemingly innocuous release of some software at 07:00, did the test transactions. Everything seemed fine but at 15:00, one of the support staff came through with a wierd problem that really shouldn't have happened. Very strange, on some phones it works 100% and on others it works 50% and yet others, it doesn't work at all. The same friggin' code. By 22:00 we still hadn't made any real progress on the problem so I decided to rollback the changes which, thankfully, we managed successfully. I think this might be a first, I can't actually remember rolling back a change before so we score 100% on actually being able to rollback but 0% for having to do it in the first place. We still haven't decided quite where the problem is, the phone application (or its developer really) reckons it is the servers problem (or the servers developer actually) while the server reckons it's the phone application but it really could be either and it is really difficult to work out which of them it is.

Got home at 23:00, put my bike on the car and packed the kit for tomorrow. Finally got to bed just before 24:00 which was way past when I would have chosen to retire for my beauty sleep. Awake at 04:45 to get ready to go to Parys on the Vaal for the annual "Crater Cruise", I don't know who named it a "Cruise" but I think he (or she) is liable to be found guilty of false advertising. Technical it isn't but a "cruise" it really isn't. Arrived perfectly in time, got myself ready and was at the starting line 15 minutes before the start which makes a pleasant change. The first half of the 105km mountain bike race was pretty easy with some tar and lots of sand road which although somewhat sandy in places was definately manageable. Corrugations are a bit hard on the rear end which made me look enviously at the bikes surrounding me. They, almost without exception, had both front and rear shock absorbers which looked a really good investment to me at the time. I seemed to spend the entire race with people overtaking me, sure people often overtake me but I also overtake people. Well, not on this race, it was pretty much one way traffic with me on the receiving end.

Got to half way a little worse for wear but not too bad. The halfway drinks stop was pretty cool because they stop the clock for you so you can spend as much time as you want there without affecting your time. I can't quite remember now, but if there were two water stops in the first half of the race there must have been six in the second half and I can see why mountain bikers have a different reputation to the road riders. At one of the water stops people were stripping down and jumping in the river before climbing back on an going again, not exactly going for personal bests. Very festive atmosphere and my theory about misery loving company was truly vindicated. As long as you can see everyone else is in pain, you can just manage to keep it going.

The one descent was a bit hairy, a little like riding on ball bearings, you just gotta go. If you try to be cautious you are just going to fall and hurt yourself. Riding through thick sand is really funny you have just gotta pedal like crazy and stick to one direction. Changing direction is sure fire disaster evidenced by the one rider in front of me who took a tumble. No harm done, it seems falling off is part of mountain biking but most of the falls are at low speed so other than a few bumps and scrapes, no harm done although I have heard of some real horror stories.

Saw a guy I recognised from gym, he wanted to know how I was doing. A bit sore I replied, "Where" he asked to which a passer by replied "hell, where do I start? pretty much everwhere!" maybe it is easier to name the places that don't hurt. Even my jaw hurts at the moment.

As evidenced from the innocuous "Cruise" title, the organisers have a cupboard masochist somewhere in their organisation. At 90km when everyone is pretty much toast we came around a bend and the friggin' path just goes straight up this rock slab. Big arrows so there is no way anyone could think that this couldn't possibly be the route. I like, almost everyone else saw this and either thought or said "F*ck!" and promptly dismounted to push the bike up the slab. About 1/3 of the way up there was an unhappy face painted on the rock face, arsehole course layer. At 2/3 there is the word "sorry" painted on the rock face, as if that would get him out of the sh!t he would be in if anyone knew who the sadist was. At the top was another "sorry" just in case we missed the first one. Bastard! Just after the top there was a guy sitting on the side of the track with his bike slap bang in the middle of the path. Everyone had to ride around it which was inconsiderate of him. I looked at him and before I could get the question out he answered with a "No, I can't move my bike. I pretty much can't move at all!" and everyone graciously smiled at his pain and cycled around his bike happy that someone was feeling worse that they were.

On the descent my saddle bag parted company from my saddle which was a great excuse for a break to sit down and SLOWLY work out what to do with the saddlebag. It was about 40 deg. Celcius by this stage so you can feel the sun burning through your shirt as you ride. The last 10km seemed to go on forever and just when you can actually see the finish, they take you on this little loop away from the finish. This included about 500m of cycling on a railway track which was rough, loose rock and sleepers and if you weren't careful you come up against a railway line which is sure fire accident material. Came around the last corner to be confronted with a steep makeshift bridge over a road but there was fortunately a "Chicken Route" arrow at the bottom which I thankfully took and finally crossed the finish 05:35 later. The first guys in took 03:10 which is truly remarkable. On a normal 100km road race the pro's normally come in 40 to 50 minutes ahead of me so I thought maybe an hour and a half would be a reasonable time to be behind them. 2 and 1/2 hours is not on but I don't know what I can actually do about it.

Had the most fantastic swim in a fountain, ice cold water to cool my core temperature down and clean me up. Got back in the car and had a snack. By the time we had left parys for the drive home I was fast asleep and only woke up as we reached the outskirts of joburg. Thank goodness Caron was kind enough to drive there with me, wait for the race to finish and then drive back. I don't think I could have managed the drive back.

Defending the Caveman

Went to see "Defending the Caveman" more or less by accident. A group of people had arranged to go and see it at the Monte Casino theatre and one couple, George and Yvonne, somehow forgot (unbelievable as it may seem) that they were going to be overseas at the time of the performance, hence our short notice invitation to go and take their tickets. Both Caron and I have actually seen it before when Tim Plewman performed it at the Alhambra Theatre and remember it as side splittingly funny so we weren't exactly unpleased to have an opportunity to see it again. Until after the show, that was.

The show is a humorous dissection of male and female relationships within the gender boundaries as well as across the gender chasm. It looks at how men a.k.a "The Caveman" behaves and interacts with other Cavemen and then how they try and interract the same way with Cavewomen, which doesn't exactly work leading to some of the many situations that we see in our daily lives. Likewise, Cavewomen try to interract with Cavemen in the same way as they would with other Cavewomen and needless to say, has no more success than the Caveman has with Cavewoman. Stereotyped, the two sexes certainly are and in reality everyone is a bit of mix of both stereotypes but the stereotyping enables the play to bring out the humour of the interractions.

The play basically pokes fun at the two sexes explaining their behaviour by relating it to the behavior of their ancestors with a little more sophistication than the Caveman bashing the Cavewomen over the head and dragging her over the threshold. A little but not much.

One particularly funny episode was related to choices. Given choices A or B, Cavemen choose one or the other. Cavewomen choose C exasperating Cavemen while in their own minds C is a perfectly logical choice out of A OR B. I had a great real life example of this on the weekend. Went to visit family and the argument went like this. Cavewomen paints a toybox and accidentally sprays some of the cottage pain windows because she is painting too close to the windows with the roller. Caveman, asks politely (this particular Caveman is about as un Cavemanish as they come) why she painted so close to the windows when it was pretty obvious what the result would be. Cavewoman roars to life and asks "So when last did YOU (you slacker) do something around the house?" which, while a valid question has nothing to do with painting too close to the windows. Valid answers (for a Caveman) to the question would be something like "I did it especially to annoy you" or "Whoops, didn't think of that!" or "I like speckled windows, don't you?".

One woman, unable to keep quiet anymore shouted from the front a question which absolutely proved the point that was trying to be made. I think she wishes that she hadn't blurted the question out afterwards but too late, too late she had to dispense with her 7000 words a day and she was way behind having had to sit in silence for the better part of an hour.

While the play was funny, it wasn't nearly as funny as I remember it. Maybe just the rosy glow of memories but I don't think so. There was way more basic sexual innuendo in this one, designed to get cheap laughs, instead of witty wordplay saying and meaning the same thing. At least for me.

Note to self, if George ever arranges something. Check that he is actually going to be in the country on that date.

Adams invisible hand ...

I have a passing interest in economics, can't really explain why and I sometimes wish it really would just pass on and leave me alone. But it doesn't. Picked up my "Dummies guide to Economics" which I am trying to drag myself through just so that I can have a more balanced view of economics after reading "The Growth Illusion". I can't bring myself to just plough through the book so I read it in fits and starts but one particular thing really got my attention this weekend. It has to do with Adam Smiths famous "invisisble hand" theory which basically states that due to competitive pressures between businesses, the customers of these businesses get the best products and services at the cheapest rates due to the competition between them. So even though the businesses may not have their customers best interests at heart, due to competition, they are forced to always become more efficient and hence keep on beating the competition and hence giving the customers the best deal.
Now, to my mind, the older an industry, the finer the margins due to competition and the more the pressure to use technology to stay just one step ahead of the pack. The point I want to pick up is do do with the tighter margins since by definition, this means less profit which would explain why investors are continuously looking around for the next best thing, they are just looking at getting into other industries or companies where the margins are easier. My point is that in mature industries, the customers of these mature industries should be getting the products or services at very close to cost which leaves precious little for profit. How then, do we have real wealth being generated out of these supposedly mature, low margin industries. Thus far I have two possiblities, one that mature industries compete, but only to a point and that point has to do with how little profit the industry as a whole will put up with, not with how low can prices go for the most quality. The second is that maybe the "invisible hand" really isn't visible for a good reason, maybe it doesn't exist since competition doesn't really exist. More on this when I have thought some more ...

Up, Up and Away

A travel filled week. Caron departed on Tuesday for London so I was left to be a bachelor for the week. Not that I did much bacheloring seeing as I flew to Cape Town on Wednesday and back on Thursday evening. Quite amazing how flying does actually tire one out even though you are just sitting there doing absolutley nothing. It is similar to travelling in a car, you just sit there and when you get to your destination you feel tired after having done ... absolutely nothing.
Went to Cape Town to help with the launch of a new product which I am particularly proud of since it incorporates several technologies which are pretty rare and in some cases unheard of. You will probably find a geek hiding in a corner somewhere else in the world also thinking that he has invented something earth shatteringly brilliant. Time will tell if it really is novel or if it is just part of a large wave of innovation happening on cell phones. The launch went pretty well with some insightful after launch questions which is normally a good sign that the audience was at least awake.
Met three people which I happen to know (two separate ones going to Cape Town and one on the way back) going through the airports. What are the chances of that? Obviously greater than zero since it happened but still!
Went to go and see "The Devil wears Prada" for management lessons in the vein of Atilla the Hun and his management principles. I think I need to get a lot tougher at work, maybe wearing Prada is the secret. Originally it was going to be just Kim and myself going, that was on Monday. When I looked at the internet to book on Tuesday it was only on at some obscure cinema in Krugersdorp. Now, if a movie opens in a single cinema in Krugersdorp it means that the distributors really, really, really don't expect it to do well. Kim was insistent, she wanted to see the movie. Logged in to book on Wednesday and, relief, it is now showing just about everywhere. Need to book for Kim as well as Laurel now, hang on, yet another email. Kim, Laurel and friend Glenda. Better book quickly so the guest list doesn't get any longer. Going out with two divorcees and one of unknown marital status is going to be intimidating enough with anyone else joining the fray. By Friday the composition of the party had changed totally. Kim was sick so she couldn't make it. Replaced by Tony. Glenda couldn't make it at the absolute last minute due to someone hopping over the wall of her complex so it ended up Laurel, Tony and myself. Very enjoyable, maybe not a great movie but well worth seeing. While we were watching it in Sandton, Caron was busy watching it in the aircraft en route back to SA, talk about a virtual date.

Sunday, a day of Rest

Not! Inveigled into doing a mountainbike race around nothern farm which is part of johannesburg water which they have opened up to mountain bikers. It is actually a great place to ride once one has come to terms with the concept of riding through a sewerage farm. I think what they do is use the treated and purified sewerage to water the crops and provide fertiliser since it really is a working farm and very, unusually very, green.

The race only started at 08:30 which was really pleasant, actually got to sleep in until 06:00am before trekking off to Jasons house. He lives pretty much next to diepsloot which is a squatter camp. Left my car there and we cycled around diepsloot to northern farm, arriving uncharacteristically early, for jason that is. There was even a queue to enter, normally we pitch up so late that there isn't a queue and everyone is waiting at the start. Saw a couple (guy & girl) on a tandem mountain bike which is rather unusual, people normally struggle on the technical sections as it is, it must be just about impossible on a tandem. They really looked like they know what they are doing, maybe I should suggest this to graeme and sit back with my video camera and watch the action. Hmmmm!

The start was downhill on a dirt road with 'speed humps' to direct water from running straight down the road. Watching the pack descend was a bit like watching a bunch of springboks gamboling, as cyclists would reach one of the speed humps they would launch themselves into the air so there was this sort of ripple of airborne cyclists as the pack descended the hill.

As usual, we started out too fast, I always do this and I always promise myself that this is the last time I'm going to be so stupid as to start too fast but it is actually quite difficult not to. Jason left me behind at the first uphill which is better than last time when he left me behind within the first 20m. The course was a really great blend of dirt roads and quite technical (not that I can really give a qualified appraisal of this) single track. There were a couple of sections that, when I saw them I thought "No, surely not, we can't ride up there" but since the guy in front of me did it. I had to do it too. One in particular was about 3-4m high and shaped like a breaking wave, the top was actually over vertical. You just peddle like shit and push the handlebars as far forward as soon as you get to the top. Quite amazing what can actually be ridden over.

The race consists of two laps around and I found jason waiting for me at the half way stage wanting to know if I had had enough. Male ego is a strange thing, on the one hand it makes you do stupid things like say "Of course, you don't want to stop now do you, I'm only just getting into it" when what you are really thinking is "Will the pain ever stop". On the other hand, not stopping when it is sensible to do so enables one to accomplish things that, without an ego, would clearly be impossible.

We carried on. As I said before, it is a working farm and the sprays had come on ... and we had to ride right through them. Yuck, a sewerage shower! Not good, I really hope their treatment plant is up to scratch. Went into survival mode at about the 3/4 stage. Fell off during a very technical section and came so very close to seriously damaging myself. It was on a diagonal ascent up a steep bank with trees and roots to negotiate on the way up. Got it all wrong and fell off downhill, now this would not ordinalry be a problem with there were lots of root at mid calf height and my foot went in between them. If I had overbalanced at that poing it would have been goodbye knee. Fortunately you only realise just how much danger you were in after the fact.

The end came and not a moment too soon. 3:13 of tough going for 60km. Not exactly burning up the veld but I did finish. Now we just had to ride home, it was only 5km or so but it felt like a lot more.

Spent the rest of the day walking around like a cowboy, my butt was so sore and of course everyone just loved seeing me in pain. Mountainbiking is a lot more taxing on the rear end than road riding. It was so good to get home and have a shower and stop looking like a racoon, all dirty and dusty with white patches around the eyes from the glasses.

Took the fogies to the airport just to make sure that they did actually leave to go and visit my sister heidi in edinburgh, scotland. It only took me an hour to pickup the folks, drop them at the airport and get back home. Seeing as I wasn't expected back for 2 hours I used the remaining hour to go and take my car for a much needed wash.

Got home just in time to have a bite of supper before the hordes all went home. Took the opportunity to ask why aldon hadn't cleaned the braai grid after he had used it seeing as he took me to task for the same sin earlier in the afternoon. Maureen, saw the funny side, I think aldon either didn't hear me or just ignored me.

Phew, quite a weekend.

Day started early again. Did a 60km road ride with Ross. Very demoralising this. Ross basically hasn't ridden for a year and just gets back on the bike and does 60km at an average close to 28km/hr. This really just isn't acceptable. I have been riding pretty much continuously and I was the one keeping up. Not fair.

Finished the ride, went shopping for a pair of running shoes which I have been trying to buy for several months now. The shop finally has my size in, they had to order it specially for me or so they say so next week I am going to try some running.

Spent some time fixing various things on 'The List' so I could avoid any accusations of being a slacker.