Friday, May 04, 2007

All cut up

Well here I sit at home waiting for my legs to heal enough that I can resume a normal life. To recap what has been going on during the last couple of days - about six months ago, after Caron had been nagging me for about 3 months I went to the doctor to have a cholesterol test. Pretty innocent I thought, especially being a mostly vegetarian - I mean exactly where is all this cholesterol going to come from - Lettuce? Anyway after a few months I ran out of excuses and dutifully went to the doctor who told me that my I HAD to (doctors bold) have the veins in both of my legs removed. Not a pleasant thought so I went to the specialist with Caron threatening bodily harm if I didn't and he confirmed that I DEFINITELY HAD to have the veins out. I think that the doctors are in cahoots but what can one do, certainly can't argue with them with my knowledge of medicine so Wednesday morning I found myself at Olivedale clinic at 07:00 for the operation.
On Tuesday evening, knowing that they were going to shave my legs if I didn't, I borrowed Kims' hair clippers to take most of it off. Caron thought I should shave a spirals up my leg or maybe a patchwork quilt type of effect. Shaving ones legs is not as easy as one would think, I know that the ladies (at least most of them) do it all the time but as a guy, it really isn't that easy - You should try it sometime. Doing the lower leg was pretty innocuous but as it got higher and higher towards you know where you get this really uncomfortable feeling. There is something awfully wrong with having a razor anywhere near there - really, you must try it. :-)
Having arrived at what felt like the crack of dawn bureaucracy lumbered into action and I was finally wheeled into the operating theater like a bug about to be dissected at about 11:30. I remember watching the anesthetist stick the needle for the drip into my arm and then the warm burning feeling of the anesthetic working its way up my arm.
Next thing I knew I was back in the ward with Caron next to my bed. Coming around from anesthetic is no fun. You might be awake but you really aren't all there - it felt a bit like an out of body experience. I spent the night in hospital which was pretty grim, I don't know how they expect people to recover in hospital because it seems to be impossible to have a decent nights sleep there. If it isn't the nurses asking you questions, changing the bed or waking you up for coffee then it is new patients arriving at all hours of the night. I was very relieved to be told to bugger off home at about 10:30 on Thursday morning. The thing I disliked most in hospital was being completely dependent on other people, no cell phone, no internet, no wallet, no watch, no transport - Nothing. Very helpless feeling.
The beds all had their own TV's with a variety of channels from which to choose but you had to have your own earphones. Earphones could only be obtained from the pharmacy and they cost R15.00 which was a big problem for me since I didn't have any money - Caron having finally got her hands on my wallet. Secondly, the thought of walking to the Pharmacy which was a mere couple of hundred metres away was just too much. Eventually a nurse took pity on me and I tried to make a mental note of her name so I could repay her but the anesthetic and pain killers seem to have robbed me of my razor sharp memory and I promptly forgot her name. She'll never read this blog but I was very grateful for the headset.
So now I sit at home, my view is shown below and I have the internet as well as my cell phone back and life is pretty good. Bandaged legs notwithstanding.

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